Saturday, September 20, 2008

Why is my excitement for her making me cry?

Well, everyone, here it is... my mom was admitted to Georgetown University... as well as some other prominent universities back east. I'm so damn excited and happy for her but I am so sad and depressed that she is going to leave us. When I received the news at work, I was excited but instantly drew a few tears because I knew she was leaving. Who would ever pass up Georgetown? That's right, nobody. Her dream did come true to be able to finish her degree and I'm sooo excited for her. I'm sad just thinking about not having my Sundays with her and my dad, our twice a month pedicures together, our shopping dates, dinner and movie dates and our shopping revenge days when we are mad at life or our husbands. I understand that she has to go, but, I just hope she comes back when she is done. My fear is that she won't come back to California. What would I do without her? She truly is my best friend. I feel like I have gotten sooo much closer to my parents this past year and I'm just really bummed that they won't be around to share in the excitement of my crazy ass boys growing up and, well, just everything. This is nothing out of the ordinary, i know... I'm just being a spoiled brat. Well, there it is... I'm just going to enjoy our holidays together as they are rapidly approaching and spend every moment that I have with her because it's going to be like culture shock when she's not here.

I actually spent the day with her today and that was fun... she treated me and the boys to lunch then we took Ryan out for a bit this afternoon and she bought them halloween costumes. Hans has been working alot of overtime and has been helping his old employer out and working over there on his days off from the Chino Airport. So, we haven't spent too much time together... We did have a dinner date tonight and took the boys. Surprisingly, again, the boys were really good at dinner. I think Aaron has gotten over his crappy mood swings at the dinner table. His attitude has completely changed when we go out now. Thank Goodness!

I was reminding mom that when she gets back from her trip to DC in a couple of weeks, we still have to take Aaron to Disneyland for his birthday. Then I reminded myself, its really just an excuse for me to go there too... I really want to go there with the park set up for Halloween. I love, love, love Disney's "The Nightmare Before Christmas". I actually have the entire Halloween Town that I set up during Halloween and Christmas. Ryan knows all of the characters from the movie because I'm such a freak about that movie. I'm trying to find some jack skellington items for the outside of the house for the holidays... we'll see how that goes.

anyways, Ryan had his first "tummy ache" the other night... that was NOT fun. He dumped in his shorts pretty much without knowing it, so once hans got him all cleaned up, we put him to bed and i reminded him that if his tummy started to hurt again, to not wait, just get up and to go to the bathroom. Well, within 20 minutes, Ryan is hauling ass into our bedroom/bathroom and says, "I'm SICK", so he runs to the bathroom and the next thing I hear is too disgusting for words and to even repeat. All i know is that my room starting reeking like death...I told hans He definately had to be the one to wipe that butt..I wasn't going anywhere near it. Poor thing.
Anyways, 1 class left before I am done with school.... Thank Goodness!! well, wouldn't you know, my first financial aid bill showed up... its no wonder people stay in school forever, they don't want to pay their financial aid... they just want to keep deferring their payments. JEEZ, it all makes sense now!

here are your words for today:

Ryan: Ryan tells my dad today, "papa, i need some money to go buy a halloween costume"...all of a sudden my dad pretends to fall asleep on the couch, snoring and all.
Aaron: Bird, T.V.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

TERRIBLE 2's....

Well, here I am again after how long? Work, school, family, etc....consuming all of my time. This month is very hectic as I knew that it would be. We have 4 birthdays this month in our family...3 of them are in 1 week. AGH!!! So basically, Aaron turned 2 on the 7th... and, yes. I am a bad mom. I didn't throw him a huge party like I do for Ryan. We basically just did a really nice family dinner here at the house with my family and then the next night we had a "pizza party" for Aaron at Round Table with Hans' family. I feel awful every day for not having a party, but, when you've got no expendable cash like you used to.... those are things that we can't just throw together anymore. So, mom and I decided that after the end of the month, we would just take Aaron by himself to Disneyland and spend the day with him. I know its not a party, but, I think its more for my guilt to spend the day at Disneyland with him.
My dads birthday was the next day, it was the 8th. So Hans and I invited mom and dad to dinner at Flemmings for Dad's birthday. Now, mind you... I know what I just said in the previous paragraph about not having money.... but, this is my dad! He does so much for us and gives us so much....I actually made a pretty decent commission check at work and told Hans that we have been pretty good and disciplined with our funds and I would really like to treat my dad (and mom) to a nice dinner. So, once he agreed, we made the reservation. Dinner was yummy of course. I asked Hans if he missed eating like that (we used to go there all the time) and he surprisingly said, "it wasn't that good tonight, I was kinda bummed". I was shocked at first, then I thought about it... he was so right! Dinner was yummy but it was not stupendous or out of this world, delicious. It was good. Just good. He made mention that he felt that the Newport Beach location served better tasting food, or it was just prepared better... something about the Rancho Cucamonga location not preparing the food to the best of it ability. oh, well...i was stoked, Flemmings is Flemmings to me... it had been a LONG time since we ate some goooood food!
Well, after that, came my birthday.... the famous 9/11 birthday girl. Let me just say, my birthday, not one of the better ones... I literally had a nervous breakdown at work and just cried the afternoon away. I got really mad at one of my bosses and all I could do was just cry out of built up aggravation and frustration. The CEO ended up in the office that day, and I tried to stay out of his way because I didn't want him to see me upset. Well, he came to talk to me, since we tend to get along pretty well, and I just avoided looking at him and he immediately knew that something was wrong.... He tried to cheer me up immediately and then became concerned and asked me what was wrong, if it was the job, etc.... I didn't want to complain or whine or anything, so I just told him that I was just frustrated and that I had already resolved the issue. Matt was super cool and knew that I was lying, so he just told me that if i needed anything, or EVER needed anything to call him. I knew he meant it and so I thanked him and told him that I appreciated the offer and Thanked him again for his concern. Well, I ended up going to school that night and class was so dang boring, I ended up leaving a bit early... we took a break around 8 and I apologized to my classmates and let them know that I had a lousy day at work, it was my birthday, and I just wanted to go home and be with my family... so, i left.
It just so happened that as I was getting onto the 71 fwy to go home, so was my husband!! he was getting on the freeway coming from the opposite direction... so i immediately called him and asked him if that was his truck driving in front of me on the 71..well, of course it was, he was at Nordstrom Rack with the boys birthday shopping for me. :) Nothing like waiting until the last minute... but gotta love it, he did good! Ryan, of course, tells me what they bought, not knowing that its a surprise, but in the end, i still ended up being surprised. Lots of goodies and finally some good company.
My mom and dad took Hans, myself and the boys to dinner for my birthday the following evening.... of course, i was worried that Aaron was going to have one of his tantrum episodes as soon as we put him in the highchair, like he so often does.... but to my absolute surprise, he didn't! Both boys, were the best that I have EVER seen them at dinner. Unbelievable. The past 3 dinners that I have had Aaron, he's been throwing tantrums, so we go visit the bathroom, give a spanking and sit him on the baby changing table until he's done crying. I guess after 3 times he finally figured out how he needed to behave when we are at a restaraunt.
Mom and Dad hooked up some awesome gifts too! wow!!! I was really excited.
So, now that we are on a birthday break for awhile...i just want to relax. My nephews birthday is at the end of the month... so i have some time to unwind and just play catch up with the house, school and hopefully work. School is over in 2 weeks, Thank Goodness!!
Well, I know that I definately have my work cut out for me, its like Aaron knew that he turned two and he's allowed to act like satan. Hans actually named him our "devil child". he is unlike any other kid I have ever come into contact with.... I have no clue what has come over him lately but I am about to lose my damn mind. He screams and cries and just like to throw tantrums...just because....! I can't handle it. I have become one of those mothers with the loud, obnoxious terrible child that I used to talk shit about every time I was out in public. I now have one of those children. The only thing that I don't have is a leash for him. Good lord! Well, I'm hoping that with all of the frustration that my child brings on me, something good has to come of it.

Words of the day:

Ryan: mommy, you're not a bad mommy! (i was telling my mom, that i'm such a bad mom for not noticing that Ryans shoes were a size and a half too small for him when we were at the Vans store yesterday buying him some new shoes) I felt like shit! that's what i get for letting him wear flip flops all summer long....I had no clue that his tennis shoes didn't fit him.

Aaron: mommy, i'm done. and then we waves his hands to say that he's done in sign language.